Lads on tour… on bikes. Holmes, Dowds & Reid cycle across the USA.

Day 45 – Stupidly Long – 130.8 miles

This morning we got out about 8, just as the staff were arriving – before they could charge us.

the day started with another Continental Divide race. I won this one standings are: 2-1-0. we were going pretty hard the whole way up it – 18mph most of the way!

We stopped at 33 miles at a grotty cafe for breakfast. It wasn’t too bad.

the next continental divide was a lot closer than we thought – less than a mile up the road. Cal saw it coming first and won it pretty comfortably – 2-2-0.

At the top of the hill we met a Manc called Matt riding alone. His parents were out for a couple of weeks sight seeing so they were taking his panniers for him this week – Lucky Bast*rd. We rode with him for a bit but we planned to stop 60 miles short of where he was going to so he pushed on.

We stopped at split rock for some…interesting photos then headed onto Jeffrey City – Our planned destination.

We had heard mixed review of Jeffrey City all we knew for sure was that it was a ghost town. An old Uranium mine closed just down the road so the population fell from 5000 to 50!

We got there to find that the Mancunian family had kicked the door to the toilet down and the owner of the towns only restaurant wasn’t in a very happy mood! We ate lunch there with her moaning about the foreigners and how she could barely understand their accents. Not sure if she realised we were within earshot or not!

The waitress from the restaurant only had one eye, which i have no problem with normally but this was starting to look like the beginning of a horror film!

The local Madman – a potter from across the road offered us to camp in his ‘garden’. We headed over to his place – an old petrol station complete with Exxon sign and pumps! He gave us a Whisky each and told us to make ourselves at home. He was a genuinely nice guy but very odd!

Also staying at his place were 2 guys from Belgium touring on Segways. They had tried to get sponsored by Segway as one of the guys is disabled and uses them to get around all the time but Segway insisted this would not fit with their image! As far as I know hardly anyone knows what a Segway is so any advertisement would help wouldn’t it? Anyway the guys were more than happy to demonstrate the Segways to us and let us have a go.

We decided then that we were feeling OK and with nothing much else to do we would ride the next 58 miles to Lander. We had heard it was a very nice city co on our bikes we hopped!

We didn’t really know what time sunset was and we got caught out in the dark a little! We did get some awesome sunset views of the mountains though so it was worth risking life and limb!

We rolled into town at 9.30pm and went to the only restaurant still open – Tony’s Pizza. This place was a gem! We had the best pizza I have ever tasted!

We also met Matt and his parents in this restaurant. He told us where we would be camping – yet again pitching in the dark! When we got to the campsite/city park it was brilliant. One of the best campsites we had been to and it was completely free!

We got to bed pretty late ~ 11.30pm but decided that tomorrow we would have a day off after today’s stupidity!

Day 44 – Easy day – 41 miles

Today we started pretty late. I realised in the night that I had left the battery charger on charge at the launderette so headed back to town to get it. I got back to the entrance to the campsite and couldn’t be bothered to ride the dirt road back so I waited for the others there.

I waited and waited and waited. 44 days in and Chris still can’t get ready quickly!

We decided that it would be best to head back into town and have breakfast there before doing the 40 mile ride in one go rather than making it drag along into two 20 mile sections with breakfast in between.

When leaving the restaurant we saw a weird guy who had stopped to talk to us last night as we were being thrown out of town by the police. He was talking of how this town was cursed! Didn’t really understand what he was saying but he gave us his website to look at;

http://karma-dharma-bhutadaya.blogspot.com

Read some of the entries! That’s the sort of people we keep meeting!

We finally left town at about 10 am. the first 25 miles were good. A few nice hills but then we had to go on the interstate for 13 miles. The should was being used by traffic as the road was being resurfaced. Chris was leading and decided to get to close to the side of the road and fell off! I then went in front and decided we would ride on the freshly laid tarmac on the other side of the cones.

the final few miles really dragged but we were in Rawlins for half of a day off by 1pm.

We had a pub lunch, went to the pool for a shower, to the supermarket for supplies then to the library for a bit. We were bored by 4 pm and needed something to do. We went back into the center of town and found that there was nothing to do there. We then headed to the cinema but nothing that we really wanted to see was showing. We decided we would just eat dinner and get an early night.

After dinner we went round the campsites looking for prices – they were extortionate so we waited until the receptions closed and sneaked into one. As long as we leave early enough in the morning we would escape being charged.

We pitched our tents in the dark yet again and spoke to a nice motorcyclist in the site next to us.

Day 43 – Across another Border – 68.2 miles

Today we got up early as planned. We left the crappy motel and went to breakfast in town as there was nothing for the next 50 miles. Had and OK breakfast in the bikers cafe then left town just before 9.

We had a couple of hills that weren’t too bad and then the race to the border. The others are getting better at sprinting now and me just bombing it off doesn’t work any more. They are still a little eager to prove this though so I upped the pace a little and Chris decided he would sprint the final 3/4 mile. Very naive of him to think he could outsprint me over that sort of distance! I won the race as usual I think the land border race now stands at 5-0-0.

We took some photo’s briefly at the border and then headed off to Riverside where we had been told there were some nice bars for lunch. The food was actually pretty crap. Had a good hot chocolate from the grocery store opposite afterwards though.

The riding had been cold all morning but whilst we were eating it had started to warm up. A lady at the bar had told us of the free hot springs in Saratoga, the town we were headed to. This made the ride to town worth doing. The final 17 miles or so were fine and when we got to town we headed straight for the springs.

It was called a hobo pool but we didn’t see any hobo’s! The main pool was roasting. only a few of the locals could stay in it for any amount of time. It flowed into the river where it was somewhat cooler and very nice for us.

We went and did some Laundry, then went to a restaurant for dinner. Opposite was an ice cream shop which Chris obviously had to go into! We ate a pretty massive ice cream each then headed back to the hot springs where we planned to camp for the night.

After about an hour in our tents we saw a flashing light and an American accent telling us it was the Police department! I got out to see what the problem was. The copper told us that we were camped in the wrong place and had to move a couple of miles down a pitch black lane out of town.

Me and Callum Couldn’t be bothered to completely pack our tents away so we rode 2 miles in the pitch black with one hand, carrying a tent filled with our sleeping bags, roll mats and pillows in. It wasn’t the brightest thing we had ever done but it save us 3 minutes in packing and unpacking our tents!

On the ride to the campsite we had to go down a dirt road with a junction. With no idea which way to go we blindly followed Callum – once again the Reidy luck prevails and we found ourselves at the campsite.

We finally got to sleep, at the correct campsite, by about 11pm.

Day 42 – Time Drags on – 63.5 miles

Today we had a lie in as we needed to go to the post office before we left town. Callums stuff hadn’t arrived so he got Chris to pay for it to be forwarded onto a later destination.

We went to the Glory Hole for Breakfast. Again it was a very nice meal – Colorado can do Breakfasts! Last night got pretty cold and I wasn’t really in the mood for cycling today. Callum seemed to have a rocket up his backside and raced up the continental divide leaving me and Chris crawling up. We met Blake at the top of the hill, took some photo’s and rode down the other side. On our way down we met a Dutch couple coming the other way who told us that Walden, our destination for the day, had a nice city park where we could camp for free. The also told us that there was “a nice place for shitting in the park”. Maybe it was their accents or maybe they really liked the toilets?!

We got to town, after another uneventful ride which just seemed to drag on forever, at around 4pm. After looking at the city park and being told that the sprinklers had a tendency to turn on at 3am and soak our tents, finding that our only source of a shower; the pool, was shut and looking at the weather telling us we would once again be freezing we decided on a motel. $60 later we were in a dump that had a bathroom much like that of a caravan – complete with mould and mildew stains!

We found a nice bar/restaurant to eat in. It was fairly pricey but very nice food. We went to bed early to be fresh for an early start tomorrow.

Day 41 – Hitting the Summit – 105 miles

Today we knew we wanted to do a pretty long day so we started early. We were just short of 10,000 feet up so it was pretty damn chilly when we arose from our pits!

We rode to the top of Hoosiers pass at around 9.30. We were at about 11,600 feet so it was pretty tiring to climb the final miles and still it was freezing!

After the Photo’s of us at the peak I saw an awesome view and wanted to try for some action photo’s of us climbing. I think the Reidy luck prevailed again as this was probably the best pic.

We rode down the other side of the mountain to Breckenridge. This was about 10 miles of switchbacks and fast sraights. not quite as fun as the Appalachians but a lot longer! Breckenridge was a really nice town, Ski resort in the winter, Mountain bikes in the summer. As was to be expected, very expensive throughout! Breakfast set us back $10, probably the most expensive so far but definately the best so far!

The next part of our ride took us through some nice bike paths. These were OK at first but they got a bit annoying. They were really badly signed and Chris got us lost. To be fair to him getting lost once in 2500 miles isn’t too bad. If Callum or I were navigating we would probably be in Mexico, Vegas or prison!

The bike path did produce some awesome photo’s however;

We stopped for Lunch near a reservoir with a pretty awesome view. I think I can speak for all of us when I say that Colorado is the nicest state we have visited, in terms of scenery anyway!

We got to Hot Sulphur Springs and found that to our disappointment they were not free and actually cost $18! We decided to chop it and find somewhere to eat in town. On our way we found Blake, Chris and Chris. Our long day had meant we had caught everybody up! They told us that the Springs only cost $11 after 8pm so we all went to dinner together before the springs. We decided that after cycling 105 miles we could really do with a shower and $11 wasn’t too bad for a shower and Hot Spring.

The hot springs were good – dinner wasn’t! We ended up finding a place to pitch our tent right next to Blake. Tight as a fishes a**e but all 4 tents fitted in somehow!

Day 40 – Odd Day – 66.5 miles

Today we woke up to an awesome view. We hadn’t really appreciated this due to the adverse weather of last night but Chris snapped this pretty awesome photo from out tent site.

The ride started with a pretty tough climb. We knew that the whole day was going to be uphill, we were just praying it wasn’t too steep the whole way! Me and Cal got a bit competitive and decided that we would race up every hill. Chris decided to be a girl and pansy his way up.

We got to Guffey, 22 miles up the hill, where we were to have breakfast. Guffey was a place well known to us before we set off as this town is pretty much owned by one person and the town mayor is a Cat! One of the many strange towns on this route!

We ate breakfast at Lisa’s Cafe. Where we met Ian, a Scot riding from Vancouver, Canada to Boston Massachusetts. Breakfast was good until Callum went to pay and realised he had left his wallet/purse/credit cards/life back at the campsite! He than had to call the campsite who had luckily found it and were more than happy to send it forward to him.

Guffey seemed like a very nice place if a little strange!

The next part of our ride took us into South park – something Chris was getting very excited about. It didn’t stop him climbing like a girl though! On the way we met a lady called Donna Byrne. She was riding her horses around America looking for a job. We stopped firstly because from about 50 yards back Callum thought it was a bear! After filling his pants we rode closer to find Donna and her two horses. She had been on the road since February, riding about 20 miles each day. She had recently run out of money so was eating the horse feed! Our good deed for the day was to donate a few cereal bars and packets of porridge to her. She took a liking to Callum, I think he has found a very special person in Donna. After telling her how awesome she was she told him how gorgeous he was – It was like watching two besotted teenagers!

We ate lunch in Hartsel. After eating me and Callum fell asleep for a good half hour, leaving Chris to pick up the bill! Chris woke us and immediately got us onto the road. After about 2 miles it started raining, Me and Cal stopped to put on some warmer clothes – That was the last we saw of Chris! I guess after fannying his way up all of the steep hills he still had some energy left – Me and Cal didn’t! Into the headwind we were only averaging about 11mph!

We got to Fairplay where we found Chris calling Campgrounds. Not fancying camping in the imminent storm I went to the motels to find a room $100 was the best I found – Looks like camping isn’t so bad after all!

We hid from the storm in a local bar, then got chucked out because we hadn’t bought anything! Went to Pizza hut for dinner and then headed to a “free” campsite near the reservoir.

Day 39 – Off to meet Yogi ~ 60 miles

Got up early and packed the very messy room we had made in the last 2 nights! Whilst Chris was packing and taking forever as usual I went to Walmart to buy a cheap camera to replace the one I soaked a while ago.

I met the others at the zoo.

On the way out of town we met two old ladies who told us of some young nice looking girls about a day ahead of us. We hadn’t heard of these girls so they are either the old ladies having us on or very slow indeed!

We arrived in Wetmore very hot and thirsty after quite a steep climb. The town doesn’t live up to it’s name; no water to be found anywhere! I found the post office and the nice lady behind the counter was very happy to refill our water.

We got to Florence and found a nice little Cafe called the 2 sisters cafe. We had a good lunch there and headed out for the final bit of our days ride.

the ride to Canon city was uneventful. We stopped at a petrol station to refill the water again and met a posh kid from Stroud who had moved to Colorado. He tried to tell us that the weather out here was worse than at home – 37C outside – I don’t think so!

From Canon city it was a short 10 mile ride to the Jellystone Campground – Yogi Bear’s house. The campsite looked ok and after some haggling we got a $21 site for $12.84 – Bargain.

We headed to the pool to coopl down but as soon as our tops came off the clouds came! It got quite chilly then the heavens absolutely opened! It rained all evening. We wanted to go to the Canyon bridge but didn’t fancy a 5 mile soaking ride. Instead we hung around the reception until the lady behind the counter offered to drive us to the restaurant a mile up the road.

We had a good dinner and then had to walk back down the busy road in the pitch black! Good job me and chris bought high-vis raincoats!

Back at Yogi’s we got on our bikes for the 200 yard ride from reception to our site. On this ride, Chris got lost and then to the amusement of the family next to us, Callum decided to ride into a small ditch created by the rain and go arse over tit over his handlebars and pretty much land at my feet!

Day 38 – Day off in Pueblo

Today I got up earlier than the others so decided to clean my bike rather than take it to the bike shop for them to do the same in exchange for a few dollars. I finished this and surprise surprise the others were still asleep so I headed down to the bike shop to buy some inner tubes and some brake pads which probably should have been changed about a thousand miles ago, but hey student loans mean you have to risk your brakes not working down the odd mountain or two!

I got back to the room and the others were just about ready to drop their bikes in for a service and head to breakfast. We were recommended a dodgy sandwich shop, Cal didn’t fancy this so with the limited distance we could go with no bikes we went to Subway for brunch.

Most of the day was spent waiting for the bikes. It’s a big city but like most places over here there’s not a lot to do without transport and where we were staying only seemed to have banks and insurance companies!

We did some laundry then we went back to the bike shop to check if Cal’s bike was ready and found out that they’d have to replace the bearings in the headset. A few weeks ago Callum found that he couldn’t turn his handlebars at all; we were worried, but he wrenched them round and suddenly they were OK! We just put it down to Reidy luck and carried on. When we noticed that the guys on the bike shop in Pueblo really knew their sh*t, we asked them to have a look at it. This is what was left of the piece of metal which holds the bearings in the headset of Callum’s bike:

Knackered. The bike techies sorted it out for a very reasonable price and they then recommended a pub to us just down the road where we could get some dinner and a nice real ale, on the way there Cal saw happy hour at a dodgy place so we went there first. We did get to the recommended pub and had a nice shepherds pie for tea.

Next we were off to the cinema, however on the way for almost the exact duration of our ride the heavens opened. Not looking forward to sitting in an air conditioned room soaked and freezing our Jacobs off; we went to Walmart to buy some cheap T-Shirts, then headed to the cinema.

After the film we headed back to Walmart for some bananas etc… and went back to bed

Day 33 – Straight Day (78 miles)

Today was pretty windy, we had however got up quite early and were ready to leave town at 7.30. We quickly stopped at the post office for Chris to see if his mobile had come in yet, It had – good times!

As we pulled away from the post office, I went to clip into my pedal and half of it fell out! – Bad Times!

Seems like every time we get to a town with a bike shop, my bike breaks. I guess it could be worse if it decided to break in the middle of nowhere! After deciding not to get a service from the extortionate bike shop and deciding not to buy there $180 “only set of pedals in stock” I was left with very little choice! Only problem was, it didn’t open for another hour or so. The others decided not to ditch me – I think now that they know the advantages to drafting behind me the lazy sods don’t want to ride on their own!

We went back to Skaets, the same place as yeserday, for some breakfast then hit the bike shop at 9 when they opened. On the way there, Chris’ chain fell off again, looks like they didn’t actually do the work that they charged him for!

I looked at the pedals and didn’t fancy paying $180 so I started to look around the shop, I noticed a set of pedals on a show bike and asked if I could buy them? The owner wasn’t too keen, I guess he was banking on me being an idiot, but after telling him I would rather cycle 300 miles to the next bike shop with only one and a half pedals, than pay $180 he agreed to sell me the show ones. still set me back the best part of $90! It’s an expensive hobby this cycling malarchy.

We finally set off into a strong headwind for 20 or so miles. We stopped at this town to refill our water as we now had a 58 mile dead straight, dead flat road with nothing but farmland on it!

If there was no wind or even better, a tailwind, I could imagine this stretch being quite fun but with a gale force sidewind trying to throw us off of the road, this became very boring and tiresome indeed!

We rolled into our destination, Larned at about 3 pm. Not bad after the late start. We headed straight for the outdoor swimming pool but on our way was stopped by the local church Pastor. He offered us to stay in his church. A roof and a fan definately beats camping out here so we took him up on the offer and said we would pop round after our swim.

The pool was awesome. It was clean, big and even had a slide for Callum! After about half an hour in there, we were getting cold so decided it was time to go to Church.

The pastor was a really nice guy. So much so that he got Callum thinking about becoming ordained himself. Although i’m not too sure that the church would appreciate Callum’s reasons for joining – a free house and a cushty lifestyle.

We had been reccomended a restaurant called Roosters, so we got directions off of the Pastor and headed there. Turns out that it was a dive. After walking just to the porch, me and Cal realised this, didn’t like the smell and decided that Pizza hut was far more appealling!

We ate a pizza each and a couple of plates of salad, with the exception of Chris who doesn’t like salad, vegetables, fruit or pretty much anything else that doesn’t look like a chocolate bar or a burger. I think he is really a yank at heart!

We were all pretty tired after dinner, Callum went for the now customary restuarant dump and we headed back to the Church, via the petrol station so that Chris could buy a milkshake!

We got back, Chris found the grand piano in the actual church and set about playing songs that i’m not too sure are appropriate in a place of worship. Turns out the Pastor was really cool and didn’t mind in the slightest. The Pastors wife came over with some DVD’s for us to watch and me and Chris sat around playing on the internet.

Callum had gone missing for a while. We later found out from him that he had gone to the balcony of the church to try and crank one out. Unfortunately he couldn’t do it with Jesus on the cross staring straight at him so he settled down in the nursery, surrounded with kids toys and books instead.

We watched some of Wedding Crashers and went to bed around 10. Late night for us these days!

Day 32 – Planned Rest Day

I woke up early today, can’t sleep past 8! The others were still sparko so I went to the library to E-mail my tutor at uni.

I got back at 10 to find Callum still sparko and Chris in the shower. I got them up and we went to the bike shop to get our bikes. Callum refused to pay the amount they charged for sorting out his gears despite him going in with a bike sounding like the tin man running a marathon in the rain! It was quite an expensive bike shop and I couldn’t help thinking they were trying to rip us off…Thats why I decided that my bike was fine enough for them not to touch.

We went to a diner called Skaets – came reccomended by many so that was our breakfast sorted. After eating we headed down to the ‘Cosmophere’ space museum. In a fairly small town in the middle of nowhere I didn’t have high hopes for this place. The advert said they had a real SR-71 Blackbird but I guessed that would be all they had. Turns out it was pretty huge. We went to the iMax theatre and watched a film about some Beavers, had a couple of science lessons then went for a walk around the underground museum…The thing was huge and just kept going and going. Chris, as per usual, took ages, leaving me and Cal sat at the end bored for about an hour! Chris – I get my money’s worth whether it’s a buffet, a free bar or a museum you ignorant clod.

We went back to the Church to find Blake then went out to do some Laundry. Afterwards we went to the towns poshest restaurant, Jillians, for some grub. Turns out that not all Americans are obese inbred slobs, the more normal looking ones just eat at nice restaurants and not all-you-can-eat Mexican buffets! For the first time on our trip, dinner was genuinely edible!

Before heading back to bed, Chris had to stop at the Dairy Queen for an ice cream, or two as the case was. I really don’t know how he isn’t 21 stone!

Day 27 – Lits go a-hunt’n

Today we got up at 7. My phone died in the night so no alarm clock today.

We rode to a restaurant in Fairgrove for breakfast at Sheila’s wheels restaurant where we were served by something who definately wasn’t given the name Sheila at birth! It had hands the size of dinner plates and a face like a Bulldog chewing a wasp. It did take a liking to Callum and Blake however, stroking them every time they spoke to it.

We then rode the largest slog of the day, only 23 miles but the heat was incredible. At Walnut Grove we got some refreshments before heading to Ash grove a further 7 miles down the road to get some groceries. The place we are staying at tonight has a kitchen so we are eating a Dowds special…Meat, veg and Tomatoes on Pasta! Might not sound very special but after 4 weeks eating burgers and other American s**t it sounds good to me anyway!

We arrived at Running Spring Farm and Hunting Preserve around 3pm. It is amazing! basically a house for just us! Kitchen, 3 bedrooms with 8 beds, 2 showers, etc… Definately well worth the $20 each for the night. If only so that none of us have to sleep in a bed or even a room with Callum!

I cooked dinner and everyone seemed to like it…it all got eaten anyway! Chris made a Holmes special dessert…Ice cream!

The TV was working OK at first. We even found the porn films but before we could even start watching one, Chris decided we didn’t have enough channels so set about re-setting the Sky box…No more TV tonight! The computer geek doesn’t always know what he’s doing!

Chris – It stopped working just around the time we tried to back out of playing (no joke) “10 Girls on Black Guys” on the PayPerView to cries of despair from Cal and Dowds.

With the TV broken we were forced to have a ‘classy’ evening. I played Callum at draughts which ended in us not realising we had a stalemate and moving our pieces back and forward for about 15 minutes, Chris played on that stupid ukulele, and Blake updated his blog.

Its now 9pm and for the first time so far we have updated a blog entry on the day it happened…very pleased with myself i’m off to bed.

Day 25 – Houston, Texas

…county, Missouri. Americans reuse place names a lot, even to the point of taking the names from another state and just whacking them in a county in the mid-west. – Chris

Dowds:
I woke up in Paula’s thrift shop after not a very good nights sleep which involved Callum cuddling me, me cuddling Callum and me sleep walking!

We left Centerville around 7. The ride to breakfast was pretty hilly. We caught Blake up at a restaurant at Ellington. After eating some toast and porridge I emptied my stomach in the toilet and after an insight into Callum’s strange masturbation clean-up techniques, we set off to catch Blake up again. This was supposed to be the hardest part of todays ride. In the next 30 miles or so we would cross the majority of the Ozark mountain range.

A couple of miles down the road we saw a turtle in the middle of the road which we stopped to move out of the way before it met its match in the form of a big truck! The ungrateful bugger turned out to be a snapping turtle which could really move and try to snap at us! After telling Callum his front wheel wasn’t the best thing to use to get him out of the road, we left him to his own devices and rode on. Callum is the only one who hasn’t got a puncture yet, and it would be completely within Callum’s abilities to have his first flat due to his tyre being eaten by a bloody turtle. – Chris

I didn’t think the hills were too bad. I quite enjoyed them in fact. I guess that the only people who had warned us of them hadn’t actually been over the Appalachians yet which were definitely much harder. These hills were very much like a self propelled rollercoaster. A fair sized drag of a hill followed by a decent speed downhill always rolling.

We caught up with Blake and soon after overtaking him I saw another tortoise in the middle of the road. This one was far smaller than the last and hid in its shell when i got near. I decided to do my good deed for the day and move it to the side of the road to which it was walking. The others didn’t see it in the road as they went past so I guess it got on its way OK.

We stopped at Eminence where we saw a couple cycling the other way to us. They were similar age to us and headed Eastbound. They gave us a few pointers for the coming maps and reminded us of a pie shop we are going past in a couple of days.

We ate some lunch and way too much ice cream and set off for the last of the mountains after a very long break! Too long in fact and my legs were getting tired. I also managed to break my pedal! Yet more expense and yet again no idea how it happened! It’s because despite your athletic abilities, you’re still a fat shit Dowds – Chris

Callum topped this though. He rode off the side of the road and fell into the ditch in only a way that Callum could!

The ride to Summersville was very steady as we were all feeling the ice cream! We caught up with Blake again and he was being followed by a stray dog. He had been following him for about 4 miles! We saw a lookout tower which didn’t look like too much more than a scaffolding tower! Not ideal for me and Cal who aren’t too clever with heights! I swear that boy Blake is Dr. bloody Dolittle. There was a point just as we caught him up when, in addition to the exhausted dog obediently plodding behind, butterflies and songbirds were spiraling round his bike like in a Disney movie. – Chris

At Summersville we found the library and took care of some essential things quickly. Outside was a veterans memorial where there were more US flags than I have seen before in my life! They really do like their patriotism! The sign read “If you value your freedom, thank a vet” I could just imagine Callum thanking Poppy’s vet for his freedom next time he takes her for a service!

I found some wifi and the others left for the final leg of the day without me. It was just one road for 23 miles so I thought I would catch them up. Seems Mr. Cramp had other plans and this supposedly easy leg became a bit of a dehydrated nightmare. I got to the town we were headed for and radioed the others on our new Walmart walkie talkies…No reply. Looks like the advertised 18 mile range is a bit of a porky and works nearer to 18 yards!

I was tired hungry and thirsty and right in front of me was KFC all you can eat buffet next to ‘The Lazy Motel’ I was so very tempted but headed down the road to see if I could get in range of the others first. I picked up Callum on the radio and he directed me to the city park we were to camp in.

Yet again there were no showers around. Not looking forward to another dirty bedtime Cal went looking around the neighborhood looking for hosepipes. I got a call on the radio directing me to the local dentist surgery. I went over Speedo’s in one hand soap in the other. Turns out this dentistry was on a main road! Discretion really isn’t in Callums vocabulary! Apart from the policeman driving past it was a very refreshing wash and very well needed.

We then all went to Taco Bell/KFC for a nutritious meal before going to Walmart for some bananas then headed to bed.

Day 3 The Millionairre of Tappahannock

What a day! First decent nights sleep in the tents. Slept in until 8am! That feels like a lie in out here!

We packed up  and left at about 9.30 after some breakfast.

The ride was going pretty well. We had a couple of drinks stops. I’ve found that most american drinks come in a 1 Litre size which fits perfectly into the empty cage I now have after losing a bottle yesterday somewhere!

The pace was ok but pretty inconsistent. We rode straight past the campsite we were supposed to stay at in Naylors beach. Before we noticed we were on a mile-long motorway bridge that cyclists have been killed on before! NOT COOL!

Myself and Chris just cycled as fast as possible across it and when we got to the other side, looked back to see where Callum was, we couldn’t actually see hime but we could see a half mile tailback behind a truck. As this queue got closer to us we saw it was caused by Callum. The bridge was about a mile long and by the time he got to where we stopped he said he was gripping so hard that his hands were hurting. I guess thats a by-product of having a phobia of bridges!

After the bridge we didn’t know where to go to stay. The next place on our map was 45 miles and we were not in any mood for doing that!

Callum decided that he didn’t want to cycle around a town looking for somewhere to stay so we stopped at an antiques store to ask for directions. The owner, Donald Mayhew, was a very kind gentleman. After thinking of local campgrounds, or the lack of, he offered us to camp in his farm and use his bathroom facilities. We felt like this was too much so we asked him if there were any cheap motels around. The lady in the shop said that she knew of a place near where she used to work and that she would claim we were her cousins from UK visiting for a day. She phoned ahead and sorted us out a room. Donald then decided that he would not let us pay for the Motel. Despite our best efforts to stop him he told us he was a millionairre and insisted on driving Chris down to the motel to pay for our room.

After checking into the motel we had a quick dip in the pool and took a walk to Wal-mart for some essentials. It was very hot and quite a bit further than the 5 minute walked we were promised by the lady on reception!

On our way out of Wal-mart we were stopped by some young ladies telling us that we were hot! Callum being Callum he took down their numbers and added them to his phone as USA SLUTS!

As we left Wal-mart, Donald Mayhew pulled up and offered us a lift, good timing or stalking? Im not sure.

They took us out for a beer and we met their friend Mike. A group of very nice people!

As we were leaving Donalds car Chris spotted an XL Trojan Condom in his car door! What a Player! and BIG one at that!

Callum continued to text the girls throughout the day and invited them to our motel room on the condition that they took us out in their convertible. They didn’t turn up until 11pm when me and Cal were asleep. We went out in the convertible blasting out Britney spears. We went to get some beer and sangria like stuff! We came back to the motel and started to get quite drunk. The girls were amazed at our accents and but ran off as soon as Callum got naked to go skinny dipping! Probably a good thing as we found out that they were actually 16 and 18! WOOPS!

We got to bed pretty late but have quite an easy day tomorrow so we can have a lie in and start riding a bit later.

Day (-1) Washington DC Hostel

Got to washington last night after an eventful flight.

We were last to the plane so chris’ seat was taken, being the polite person he is he sat in between fat stanley from the office and a moose. To say he didn’t look best pleased would be an understatement! Whilst trying to contain our laughter, we watched Chris get upgraded to “Premium Economy”.
Chris: I don’t think I’ve ever been so filled with rage. Just because you have a little squealing baby it doesn’t mean you can ignore your seating reservation, but you can’t exactly tell them to move because they have the little bloody baby. If they want to be with their baby regardless of seat reservations stick them in the baggage hold. I was looking forward SO much to my nice extra leg room seat and I got booted back in between two…oversized individuals. Then the stewardess sorted it all out because of health and safety and the number of air masks – kicked the guy back into my seat, and bumped me up a class. I have never been so happy. Justice.

Also it didn’t help that they looked like complete dweebs – the woman looked like Steve Coogan with **** hair.

Callum had toothache but the in flight doctor spoke our language and prescribed him two bottles of brandy and some paracetemol. Callum’s asian vegetarian dietary requirements didn’t prove to be too much of a problem, except for the fact that he was expected to eat a cold vegetable korma for pudding. Maybe it would have gone better with ice cream?

We took a cab to Washington after being raped by customs and arrived here at about 9.30 pm. The hostel is pretty nice inside, looks like a dump from the outside. Had some weird guy moaning at us before bed but other than that slept like a baby. We woke up ridiculously early and now about to go round Barry Obamas for breakfast. apparantley he has cooked us a full English, I doubt he has the proper bacon tho. Maybe he will let us play with his Nukes at some point.